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Scientists
for Health Canada have reported that a recent study has revealed
the possible presence of female hormones in beer. Canadian health
officials now recommend that men take a serious look at their
beer consumption habits.
The
prevailing Canadian theory is that excessive beer drinking turns
men into women.
To
demonstrate this theory, the Canadians tested a 100-man sample.
Each man was fed 6 pints of beer within a one-hour period. It
was then noted that 100% of these men gained weight, talked
excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, became
unable to drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing,
refused to apologize when wrong and, finally, urinated while
sitting upright. In other words, they became women. While Canadian
men have steadfastly refused to change their beer drinking habits
following the latest warnings, they have generally hailed the
report as good news. As one confirmed beer drinker noted, "Everybody
knows that Canadian women look like men. Now, we are told that
drunk Canadian men are really women. This makes it that much
easier to pick someone up in the bar late at night ... eh?"
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